I was accompanied by my dad to the PNP Custodial Service located in Camp Crame. It is where people with high profile crimes who are still in trial are held in custody. The place is surrounded by walls about 4 meters high. Outside is a gate guarded by military soldiers wearing camouflage uniforms. Inside these walls are barracks for soldiers. Deeper inside the PNP Custodial Service is the actual place where the people in trial stay. The place where they stayed is surrounded by more walls. These walls are higher. They are about 10 meters high. On top of the corners of the walls are guard houses. There is also a soldier equipped with what I believe is an M-16 rifle patrolling around the walls. Inside the walls about 1 meter away from the walls are fences with barbed wires on top.
When we entered these walls, I couldn’t help but feel afraid. I am not sure exactly why I felt scared. Perhaps it was because I just didn’t know what to expect. My dad never gave me a background of the PNP Custodial Service. He just told me that the people held in custody there were people of high profile crimes. It’s like I was blindfolded and taken to a rollercoaster. You just don’t know what will happen next. That’s why you are afraid despite knowing you will be safe.
When we got inside the walls inside the PNP Custodial Service, I was surprised. When we walked in, there were men wearing house clothes. They greeted the guard who opened the gate for us and the guard greeted them back. They stood up and greeted my dad. Much to my surprise, these men were the ones being guarded by the walls. They were the people being trialled for high profile crimes. There were cells inside but they were not inside their cells. However, somehow, I felt safe. They did not look at all like what I expected. They did not look dangerous at all. I expected the people to look like killers. I imagined in my head men with muscular bodies covered with tattoos and their faces covered with facial hair. This is what your brain does when you are not sure what you are about to face. It creates haunting images that cause anxiety.
They were hospitable. They asked us to sit down. They even served us coffee. As the person who made the coffee handed me the cup, I saw in his eyes not the eyes of a criminal but that of a noble person. That puzzled me.
My dad serves the government which was primarily the reason why I gained access to the PNP Custodial Service. It turned out that he knew these people. He was friends with one of them. My dad talked to his friend. While they talked, I had a chance to observe the place and the people.
There was a small canteen with plastic tables and chairs. There were machines for lifting weights. There was half a basketball court and on the wall, I noticed a short bond paper. Written on it are scores of previous basketball games. They had basketball teams: teams Blue, Black, Yellow, Red and White. Written below the scores of the winning teams are the remarks “Suwerte lang” which meant and below the losing teams “Malas lang” which meant “just lucky” and “just unlucky.” In my opinion, this suggested or this hinted that they respected each other. This suggested that they did not see themselves as superior to anyone inside. They were not worthless criminals who knew nothing to do but trouble. There was a sense of peace and friendship. I could see it in the way they conversed with each other.
For some reason, I could not help but feel humbled. These were not normal people and I am not saying this because I know they are being trialled for high profile crimes. I could see that there was fire in their eyes. Not from anger. I wondered “What the hell are they in here for?” I overheard my dad’s conversation with his friend. They were talking about government matters. I could not pinpoint what exactly what they were talking about. Then I noticed on the wall in front of me a tarpaulin and written on it is the Samahang Magdalo Code of Conduct. I was beginning to have an idea of what they are. Later, my dad told me that the people there were officers who went against the government. The friend he was talking to was a 1 Star General who went against President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.
I observed this person as he talked to my dad. He looked like he was in his 50’s. He looked like he had Chinese blood. What was striking about him however was that while he talked to my dad, he did not look like a broken person. And I began to notice the same with all the people inside. They looked like they still had their pride and their chins up high. Being trialled and confined in the PNP Custodial Service did not seem to crush their spirits.
All of them had this humbling aura of noble people. They had tremendous respect with each other and the guards respected them too. The guard with the M16 rifle did not seem to be guarding them with a close eye. It seemed he was only there just because it was part of the process for the people still in trial. It’s such a shame that these people are locked inside instead of doing service for our country. It’s such a waste.
Entering the PNP Custodial Service turned out to be more than what I expected. I was humbled and I felt like the subject I am touching on is way beyond me. I saw officers who stood up for what they believed not big time killers like I expected at first. They were people who had dreams of a better country, a better people and a better nation, my dad told me. In my opinion, these are noble people and it is just sad that they might be in jail after their trial. They stood up for what they think is right for the country. For me, that is heroic. For me, that is the meaning of nationalism.
As we exited the PNP Custodial Service, my dad told me, “That man was a great officer. He was very idealistic. However, idealism is far different from realism.” I realized he was right. I do believe that there are a lot of people who have dreams of a better country and know what’s right and wrong. However, that dream of a better country simply could not be achieved. I don’t know why. All the more I felt the subject I’m touching in is way beyond me. However, I do believe that whatever the reason why that dream of a better country could not be reached, it is still worth fighting for and that these men in custody deserve better.
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